Visions of a Disgruntled Marksman
by Katt-Swann
Summary: A look at Usopp's "terrifying" nightmares. C'mon, you know you want to!
1. Default Chapter

I am not Eiichiro Oda and do not own One Piece or any of its characters. I just like borrowing them for my twisted little stories.

Vision 1: A Little Taste of Terror

Usopp heads down the hall to his quarters, ready for a good night's rest. He had currently spent the day working in the galley to make up for the pile of clean dishes he had toppled while horsing around with Luffy.

_That rubber guy always gets me in trouble,_ thought Usopp as he opened his bedroom door, which gave a loud _squeak_ as he did so. _Dang door._ He grabbed the oilcan off of his desk and bathed the door hinges with grease, then moved the now silent door back and forth, closing it afterwards. "That ought to do it," he declared to the empty room. Replacing the oilcan, he carefully removed his headgear and put it on his bedside table.

As he popped off his shoes, he wondered what he would do for Nami's birthday, seeing that today was July 1 and he only had until the third to decide on a present. _I'll just make her a pair of self-cleaning sunglasses,_ he resolved as he slipped into his nightclothes.

Usopp climbed into bed and snuggled under the blankets, pulling an old, worn teddy bear out of his pillow case. "Nighty-night, Pooples," he whispered to his bear, and soon drifted off to sleep.

Usopp soon awoke in Dreamland to a field of dancing flowers. He joined in the parade until, "YAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR! YOU HAVE COME TO MEET YOUR DOOOOOOOOOOOOM! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

All of a sudden, three huge waffles bounded out of the forest at him, heach holding six long machine guns, loaded and pointed at Usopp. Usopp screamed like a little girl and started to bound towards the end of the flower field. 'YAAAAAAARRRRRRRR! YOU CANNOT ESCAPE FROM US! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

The waffles chased Usopp all throughout his dreams, but they all had to stop occasionally to ask directions, only to moments later be chasing, running and screaming like a little girl again.

Next morning Usopp awoke screaming and terrified. He yanked open the door and bolted out. Apparently some of the oil he had put on the door hinges had dripped onto the floor, causing him to loose his footing as he stepped onto it and slam into the wall. Nevertheless, he got up and scooted to the kitchen where he knew the rest of the crew would be having breakfast.

Once in the galley, a very hoarse and out-of-breath Usopp took his blace at the meal table between Luffy and Sanji. Luffy patted Usopp on the back and said, "Morning, Usopp! Guess what? We're having waffles for breakfast!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Usop shot out of his seat and ran screaming from the room, Leaving the rest of the crew puzzled.

Luffy wore a very confused look on his face. "Was it something I said?"

A/N: What do you think? Good? Bad? Let me know. Flame away if you want, but just know, I won't write a second chapter if I don't get at least 5 good reviews.


	2. Vision Two: Sunglasses and Scissors

I am not Eiichiro Oda and do not own One Piece or any of its characters. I am just borrowing them to scare the oogamakatiki out of Usopp.

Vision 2: Sunglasses & Scissors

That stressful day of July the 2nd had tired the entire crew out, even Nami, who had been making sure that Sanji was preparing her the absolute perfect birthday cake ever to be seen/eaten. Apparently running around the small town at which the Going Merry was docked reminding Sanji get peanut butter crispies, chocolate cake filling, sugar flowers, 45 pounds of cake mix, coconut-vanilla-lemon frosting and such was just as hard as Luffy's attempts to make a distinguishable birthday present.

Usopp had been in his quarters all day busily working at his desk, attaching battery-powered squeeges and squirters to a pair of fashionable orange sunglasses, that when turned on would clean the glasses every half hour. It was now nightfall, and he was putting the finishing touches on with some super glue and home-made confetti. _Clatter!_ Sounded the scissors as they fell to the floor. "Oops," Said Usopp as he bent to pick them up. He turned and looked at his clock. It read 11:52. "I guess It's time for bed."

Usopp took a small bottle with a brush built into the lid out of one of his desk drawers. It was a special gloss to be put on a substance for a glossy finish. Usopp spread a thick layer over the confetti he had put on the glasses and replaced the bottle, smiling at his work. He got up from his desk, prepared himself for a long sleep, and dove into his bed. "Let's just hope that I don't have another horrible nightmare," He whispered to his bear, and was soon snoring under cloak of darkness.

His dream began in a shop filled with scissors, millions and millions of different types of scissors. Everything was made from scissors or looked like scissors, and it was very hard to see through the scissor-windows. Usopp felt like he was being watched. He heard a noise, and figured it was just somebody using a pair of scissors. But the noise grew closer. Usopp whirled around and was horrified at what he saw. A pair of scissors was on the floor behind him---_standing up on its blades._ There were two eyes in the fingerholes and the top of the scissors reached up to Usopp's waist, and as they waddled toward him, they made a sinister _snip, snip,snip_ sound. Usopp struggled to control himself. He kept telling himself that it was only a dream and backed away slowly from the scissors. But they waddled after him still. _Snip, snip, snip…_ the sound haunted him. Soon Usopp bumped into the door. Carefully he opened it, carefully stepped out so that the scissors would not notice. As he closed the door, he stuck a plank of wood under the handle so the door could not be opened by the scissors. But from behind him came the haunting sound—_snip, snip, snip._ He couldn't believe himself.

Turning around, he saw 10 or 20 pairs of the Sinister Walking Scissors of Snipdom.

"No..n-no..no…no..NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He jumped over the group and bolted down the street. He _must_ escape! He _must_ be free of these sharp-tipped feinds! He _must_ have an antacid! No, wait….

Filtering off of a side street, nearly 100 Sinister Walking Scissors of Snipdom stepped in front of Usopp's path, blocking him from escape. He whipped around and started to run the other way, but was stopped in his tracks by another 100 Sinister Walking Scissors of Snipdom blocked his path.

This was it! There was no escape for poor Usopp. They crawled over him, bringing him down. He felt them all over, poking him, prodding him, until one snipped, and much too low…….

Usopp felt even less "manly."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Usopp woke up screaming. Once he quieted himself, he looked over at his clock. It said 6:13. It was already Nami's birthday.

Suddenely the door banged open, and ther stood Luffy. He said, "Usopp! Are you allright?

Did you find that thumbtack I dropped in here last week or something? And why are your sheets wet?"


End file.
